Twisting and Contorting

When I signed up for yoga, I envisioned myself in the latest yoga gear, a mid-riff baring top, showing off my washboard stomach (yes, it is MY fantasy, I can dream whatever I want!). Soothing music plays in the background, cool breeze from the air-conditioner blows gently as I twist and contort my supple and lithe body in unimaginable ways. I imagined that each week I’d walk out of the yoga centre with a spring in my step – feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

As I said, it was fantasy.

Each week, we start off with the Sun Salutation. Imagine doing that 12 times as warm-up exercise.

After that, there would be like another 737 (I’m sticking to 737 coz it sure feels like that many) other poses to do, 735 of them which I cannot do because:
1. My belly is in the way
2. My leg/hand/body cannot support my weight
3. I tried to reacquaint myself with muscles which have since gone to retirement in Florida
4. The pose isn’t meant for humans, only chimpanzees with extra long hands.
5. All of the above.

Each week I leave the yoga centre wishing I could roll down the staircase, as I put one foot in front of the other. Beads of sweat glistening on every single pore, with limp hair plastered to my scalp. Tongue sticking out, not unlike the picture below.

Hardly the whole Zen-like feeling I imagined it to be.

But the good news is – I am loving every single minute of it!